7:00 am, -29 C
Reflections on a long January
2026, 7:00 am, -29C. This snowbank is only 4 feet tall, others on the street are double that, they build up inch by inch with each flurry. I slip down the street, stepping forward, sliding back. January is like that.
I never expect much of this first month of the year. I often approach it with fear, hoping that I can wrestle it into some kind of order with all my good intentions. It was no different this time, I committed to fasting, journaling, reading, weight training, yoga, abstinence from alcohol, adventuring, socializing, and self-care. With all this in motion, it still feels like I’m slipping and a slogging along.
I began a 72-hour water fast with Mindy Pelz early in January and spent a lovely day at the spa on January 3rd, finishing it, but it almost finished me. After 72 hours without food, no amount of chlorophyll water or mint tea could sustain me for much more than dipping in and out of warmish water. When I tried the steam room for 5 minutes and a cool salt scrub after, my heart thundered so much I had to talk it slowly down as I laid resting in the pinkish glow of the salt room. After a good amount of time, I popped up, looked around for JP, who was snoozing on his side, and tapped him for the time. He raised a lazy hand and I read off the time. It was 4:00 pm and time to end the insanity. We headed to Kato for what I thought would be a slow “refeeding” on miso soup and vegetables, but which ended up being a voracious inhale of angry chicken and grilled salmon rolls. I was done with fasting and can’t even think about it for the forseeable future.
Was there any benefit to this? I’m still asking myself that question and hoping I haven’t hurt my heart, knowing hearts are mighty but fragile, hoping they can heal.
After the fasting debacle, JP and I joined a local gym steps from home. I reasoned that this would make it easier to go and it has. We’ve started the weight training I’ve dreaded for as long as I’ve been hearing about the necessity of it. It’s okay. It’s efficient. That’s all I’ll say. I far prefer the Yin Yoga classes I’ve been attending where they light candles and channel Reiki.
Meanwhile, my journaling aspirations have stalled. It’s as much as I can do to scribble a few phrases in my gratitude journal. My own writing is waiting for me to resume a more productive morning ritual than coffee and cat cuddling.
Our adventures are all in the planning stages at the moment, aside from venturing out for breakfasts and dinners. Times spent with friends this month have lovely, but it is hard to leave the warm cocoon of home to get to anyone.
I also want to hide from the news and ‘reality’ and all the harshness of the great political beyond. I’m taking my cue from a few of the podcasts I’ve been turning to and choosing to focus on what I can control, which at this point is limited to myself and my own small domain. Things will shift and change eventually, with more light and resolution. In the meantime, I’ll follow Isabelle’s lead and escape into another book, curled up inside, taking in the snow from a safe distance.